‘Teen Mom’ News Pile: Jenelle Evans Spars Online with David Eason’s New Gal; Isaac Rivera Clowns His Dad Jo’s Cringy Music Video & More

“All the ladies love Davey E. And I love to hold their wallets!”

From shading their former soulmate’s new girl to shading their dad for his cringetastic rap video, it’s been a busy week for the stars/former stars of the Teen Mom franchise! In an effort to bring you up-to-date on the latest Teen Mom: The Next ChapterTeen Mom and Teen Mom 2 news, The Ashley brings you the Teen Mom News Pile.

Here are some of the major (and minor but interesting) ‘Teen Mom’-related things that happened over the last week or so…

David Eason Calls New Girlfriend His “Missing Piece” Days After She Shades Jenelle Evans Over Her OnlyFans & Jenelle Responds

Jenelle Evans is battling her ex’s newest soulmate!

As The Ashley previously told you, Jenelle’s estranged husband David is now dating Kenleigh Heatwole— an employed (!) 25-year-old living (in her own home!) near David’s boaterhome. On Friday— 10 days after The Ashley revealed his new sugar mama galpal— David made their relationship “Instagram Official” by posting a photo of himself with Kenleigh to his Instagram account, captioning the shot, “Finally found my missing piece.”

(Naturally, a large number of David’s followers pointed out that David’s rapid sentiments may be the result of him needing a place to shack up that’s not a broken-down boat.)

David, realizing he’s about to escape that barnacle life…

Anymoocher, David’s declaration comes just days after Kenleigh and Jenelle threw some heavy shade at each other via the Interwebs, with Jenelle calling out Kenleigh for her facial features, and Kenleigh shading Jenelle for selling photos of her nether parts on OnlyFans.

It appears that the shade sesh began when Kenleigh “randomly” posted a TikTok of herself, along with the caption, “The way I wish I had poor morals and could do ‘other things’ other than working my desk job every day to just survive.”

Kenleigh— who is sporting a misspelled tattoo on her arm to remind her that she shouldn’t “loose sleep over the opinions of sheep” —- didn’t use Jenelle’s name in the post, but the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Eason took it as a direct swipe at her habit of hocking sexy time photos online.

It hurts so good…

The rehired ‘Teen Mom’ star soon took to social media to retaliate against Kenleigh.

“If you think OnlyFans is my only revenue, you’re wrong,” Jenelle wrote on Instagram Stories shortly after Kenleigh’s post circulated. “Ask your man, he knows how much I make.”

“I sure do! That butt photo money paid for these super-cool shades, among other things!”

Jenelle then took a shot at Kenleigh’s appearance.

“And that message was for Toucan Sam. Hey girl heyyy,” wrote Jenelle.

When you launch an insult that could have been written by a middle schooler and you’re feelin’ yourself for it…

Kenleigh eventually turned off comments on her post.

David, however, failed to turn of the comments on his post announcing his relationship with Kenleigh and the comment section did not disappoint.

“A guy never falls in love quicker than when they need a place to stay,” one person wrote.

“He always cleans up his hair and beard for a new girl then starts looking like Chewbacca mixed with Santa after getting comfortable,” another person warned Kenleigh. “Beware.”

Kenleigh, however, was swooning over David’s post.

“You’re the sweetest,” she responded in the comment section.

“There’s a lot of things that David is, but tha sweetest is neva gonna be one of them!”

Isaac Rivera Roasts His Dad Jo’s Cringy 2011 Rap Music Video 

No one is safe— not even Rappin’ Jo Jo— from Isaac’s roasts!

Isaac Rivera— and his epic shade— is back for another video, but this time, the ‘Teen Mom 2’ kid is taking aim at his father, Jo’s cringy rap music video from 2011.

Isaac, who, last month roasted his mom Kail Lowry in a video judging her red carpet outfits from the past decade or so, took to Instagram this week give fans his thoughts on Rappin’ Jo Jo’s attempt at becoming an international rap superstar during the early days of ‘Teen Mom 2.’

For those of you who had a life back in 2011 (or…you know…were in diapers), allow The Ashley to enlighten you on Jo’s short (but deliciously cringy) rap career. Jo used the rap superstar name of “N.I.C.K. B.” (Sadly, The Ashley remembers that the “N.I.C.K. B.” stood for “Nerd in a Cool Kid’s Body.” And, yes, The Ashley hates herself for remembering that.)

One of his first rap singles was “Life As a Teen Father,” where he raps about how he’s “got a girl I love but I ain’t in love with.”

“…to be tied to this monstrosity in any way. Also, that was the worst song shoutout ever!”

In 2011, the aspiring Rappin’ Jo released, the “Unthinkable Remix,” which came complete with a super-cool music video starring….Vee Torres! Vee— as ‘Teen Mom 2’ fans know— would go on to become Jo’s wife, but back in 2011 she was just the girl with the hoop earrings swooning on “N.I.C.K. B.” for his musical talents.

In the video, “N.I.C.K. B.” meets Vee in a liquor store, and then follows her, walking at a creepy distance behind her.

It’s giving “The beginning of an episode of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ vibes.”

Naturally, because Jo is so darn “cool,” Vee ends up in bed with him. After all, what gal could resist these swoon-worthy lyrics.

“Hey pretty mami, you look sweet/ I mean, you’re the type of Shorty I’ve been dyin’ to meet/

Anyway, Isaac decided to give his dad’s music video a review of his own.

“Here’s the moment you guys have all been waiting for,” the 14-year-old says. “I’m gonna watch my dad’s rap video.”

He notes how incredibly embarrassing it must have been for his now-stepmom Vee to film this cringe-tastic scene.

“The first thing I notice is Vee,” he says. “I feel bad for her because that must have been so awkward.”

Isaac then comments on how unbearably high the voice of the random dude who accompanied Jo on this mortifying rap journey is.

“My dad needs to get him because it sounds crazy!” Isaac snorts.

He then clowns on his dad’s decision to use cheesy slow-motion to film a part of the video.

“What is the slow-mo at the beginning when Vee and my dad made eye contact?!” Isaac says. “What in the world!?”

Isaac then tackles some of Jo’s um…interesting lyrics, particularly the line that goes:

You lookin’ luscious like an avocado from Mexico.

This isn’t even my dad but I’m hiding under my desk in embarrassment for you, Isaac.

“It’s so embarrassing! Vee, come get him!” Isaac jokes.

Sadly, Rappin’ Joey Jo’s lyrics fail to improve from there.

Honestly, these lyrics should be illegal.

“My appetite for you is becoming obese,” a tank-topped Jo raps as Vee lounges casually in bed (at a hotel that you know was a Comfort Inn that Jo booked using a coupon.)

When Jo raps that Vee can “escape this torture” by taking a walk with him, Isaac doesn’t hold back.

“No, I don’t think she’s escaping the torture. I think you’re the torture,” he says.

Due to the toxic levels of cringe, Isaac is no longer able to continue watching the video, and shuts it down before the end.

If you’d like to “escape the torture” yourself and see Jo’s full video, you can do so below.

Luis Hernandez— Absentee Baby Daddy of Briana DeJesus– Expecting His Fourth Child with Fourth Baby Mama

“I made ’em! What do you expect me to do, TAKE CARE of the kids, too!?”

Briana’s second baby daddy Luis may not be good at sticking around, parenting or working, but he’s great at impregnating!

This week, the @TeenMomFanz Instagram account revealed that Luis— deadbeat dad to Bri’s daughter Stella— is about to welcome his fourth child. This comes one year after ol’ Lu apparently became a dad (for the third time) to a little girl by a different woman.

For those of you whose “schools were not well” and have had a hard time counting along, that’s four kids for Luis, with four different women. (In addition to the baby on the way and the one-year-old daughter, Luis shares Stella with Briana and had another child before Stella was born.)

“That’s the last time I make a baby with a guy I met in da club…I mean, probably.”

According to @TeenMomFanz, Luis latest spawning occurred in Virginia with a woman named Karla (whom Luis has since ghosted).

“We’re hearing Luis has already ‘dipped’ on Karla, who is currently 22 weeks pregnant with a baby girl,” the account reported.

As The Ashley has previously reported, Briana has been vocal about the fact that Luis is not active whatsoever in Stella’s life. In fact, she recently revealed that Luis has not seen Stella for more than a year.

The account also posted a photo of Luis at his third child’s first birthday party, along with his baby mama Desiree. While the photo makes it appear that Luis is an active dad to the little girl, @TeenMomFanz set the record straight that this is not the case.

“We’re being told Luis was completely absent and randomly showed up to her birthday party,” the account wrote. “Family members of the baby and Desiree were shocked to find out Luis was the daddy, as it has been a secret thus far!”

Briana has yet to comment on her baby daddy’s seed-spreading spree, and it’s unknown if Stella has been in contact with any of her half-siblings.

Amber Portwood’s Runaway Fiancé is Spotted On a Dating App

“Are you RILLY moving on this fast?!”

Just weeks after ditching his new fiancée, fleeing their vacation home sans cellphone and proceeding to be listed as a missing person in North Carolina, Gary Wayt– aka Gary 2.0– is looking for love again!

According to @teenmomshaderoom__, the 38-year-old former (and brief) fiancé of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter’ star Amber Portwood was recently spotted on a dating app, in which he told potential sofa-dwelling suitors that he’s searching for “casual fun.”

“Just moved […] recently! Looking to have some casual fun while I get settled into the city,” Gary 2.0’s dating app bio reads. “Would you like to join me?”

“Good luck findin’ someone more casual than me! I am the lounging queen, after all!” 

As The Ashley previously reported, Gary 2.0 went missing in June, shortly after joining Amber at her brother Shawn Portwood’s wedding in North Carolina. Days after Gary had left his and Amber’s vacation rental without a trace (or his phone) and without contacting his family, Amber tearfully begged fans to pray for her fiancé’s safe return.

The search for Gary 2.0 lasted several days– during which he was officially listed as a missing person in North Carolina– before Gary was spotted in Oklahoma and New Mexico. He later contacted police to inform them he was “missing” by choice. After it was confirmed that Gary was not in any danger, the search was called off and Amber returned to Indiana— without her fiancé.

It was confirmed June 23 that Amber and Gary 2.0 had officially ended their blink-and-you-miss-it engagement.

“They’ve decided that it’s over between them and their engagement is off,” a source told Us Weekly. “They have too much to overcome to move forward together.

“It’s the best thing,” the source added. “She is sad and she cares about him, but she is willing to see that he is not the right guy for her. She wants to be with someone who accepts her fully.”

“The line to date me is forming right over there, guys!” 

While Gary had been living in the Indianapolis area prior to his cross-country ghosting adventure, his alleged dating profile confirms that he’s not only moved on from Amber, but also to a new location.

As for Amber, she’s yet to start shacking up with someone new– as far as we know, anyway– though we’re sure it won’t be long before another Gary man is kickin’ it on the La-Z-Boy with her and the couch puppets.

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