When it comes to finding a lasting connection, some dating shows have a better reputation than others. While lucky couples like Tommy Fury and Molly Mae from the ITV series Love Island, or Cameron Hamilton and Lauren Speed from the Netflix series Love Is Blind seem to have found true, lasting connections on reality TV, many others on reality dating shows have less felicitous outcomes. While the ostensible objective of a dating series is the idea that true love can be found on TV, some programs also have an obvious strategy to stir up drama and social media chatter by “testing” connections through various producer-influenced methods.
After the success year after year of series like Love Island, or ABC’s The Bachelor, the streaming juggernaut Netflix rapidly developed an abundance of reality dating series on their platform. Love Is Blind seems to be their strongest effort at matching people who are truly participating in the series in order to find their match. The series refers to itself as a social experiment meant to test whether participants can find a love strong enough to merit a wedding proposal without ever having seen one another. While there have been some serious long-term commitments that have resulted from the series, the other dating programs on the streaming platform have a less than stellar reputation when it comes to contestants finding lasting love.
Series like Too Hot To Handle and Perfect Match have proven that while they are certainly entertaining to binge-watch, the matches that are produced by the series are rarely lasting love. Instead, these series tend to produce an ever-increasing pool of individuals interested in becoming professional reality TV stars. And a lot of this comes down to casting in the first place, the structure of how the matches are first made, and then how the pairs are influenced on each series in order to maximize drama. When series seem made to stir up a social media frenzy rather than lasting connections, love gets lost somewhere in the mix.
Netflix Dating Shows Have Other Priorities Than Connections
Netflix series like Perfect Match and Too Hot to Handle isolate the romantic hopefuls in vacation settings, where constant swimwear attire seems to be a prerequisite and games and workshops introduced by producers are meant to turn up the sexual tension. This suggests there is a certain amount of lust required for love to even form. And of course, it is a direct contradiction of the premise of Love Is Blind, Netflix’s series that seems to prioritize connections, which is that physical appearance is not necessarily important to forming a strong and lasting bond.
The types of activities that the producers create often seem heavy-handed in the way that they stir up drama among the contestants. On Perfect Match, the contestants getting to sabotage other couples in order to improve their chances of winning is a clear example of how ensuring that lasting connections stick is not incentivized on the series. The dates set up on Perfect Match also often encourage newly matched couples to form an instant attraction with activities like massaging or body painting each other while in scanty swimwear upon their first meeting. These dates are meant to pull contestants away from their current connection, create love triangles, and ensure drama unfolds within the group.
In Too Hot To Handle, contestants are tricked into participating in a vacation experience that ends up testing their ability to abstain from sexual activities. Like Love Is Blind, the series is something of a social experiment, where contestants are monitored by an omnipresent AI cone called Lana who penalizes the group by withdrawing funds from the allotted cash prize each time one of them breaks the rules. The stated objective of the series is to teach these individuals about building long-lasting connections through workshops that resemble group therapy. But it has also produced several contestants that have gone on to participate in other dating shows, many of them pursued by rumors of infidelity, which places doubt on whether Too Hot To Handle truly achieves its stated objective.
What is confirmed, is that the swimwear-clad singles hooking up and breaking rules, participating in workshops where they paint one another and bind one another with ropes to learn about “trust,” and arguing about the transgressions that have cost the group money, creates hours of entertainment in the meantime. While testing connections and stirring up drama is a staple feature on dating reality series across the board, the heavy-handed nature of the workshops and re-couplings on Too Hot To Handle and Perfect Match make it obvious that getting couples to commit to one another long-term is certainly not the objective.
Netflix Has a Casting Problem With Their Reality Dating Shows
Too Hot To Handle and Perfect Match have a history of casting individuals that are more interested in fame than dating seriously. Francesca Farago and Harry Jowsey are good examples; the couple met on Too Hot To Handle, and caused serious tension in the group by consistently breaking the one rule in the series: no hooking up without losing money from the cash prize the group is working towards keeping. The series reunion that season occurred over Zoom due to the coronavirus pandemic, and Francesca graciously said yes to Harry when he proposed with a Ring Pop candy engagement ring. But apparently, the lessons they were meant to learn during their time on Too Hot To Handle about maintaining a lasting connection did not stick, as Francesca took to her YouTube channel to announce their break-up amid rumors that Harry was unfaithful.
Since their relationship came to an end, Francesca and Harry have made the rounds on reality TV. Francesca went on to be cast on Perfect Match, and then even appeared on Love Is Blind. Although Francesca was not cast on the series, she slipped into a relationship with contestant Damian Powers, who left his fiancée, Giannina Milady Gibelli, at the altar and showed up with Francesca on his arm at the reunion. For his part, Harry went on to Dancing With the Stars before appearing on the second season of Perfect Match, despite his therapist actively trying to convince him to forgo finding a relationship on TV. Francesca and Harry are just two examples of people who got started on a Netflix dating series, but then used the platform and social media chatter as a launch pad for a career in reality TV.
The motivation for a career in reality TV seems to be an enticing lure for influencers posing as romantic hopefuls. And this is reinforced by the Netflix casting process. Speaking on the We Have the Receipts podcast, Netflix’s Director of Casting, Unscripted Content Acquisition, Rich Leist, emphasized that once they cast someone, that person is going to become a “celebrity.” Netflix Casting Director Erin Tomasello mentioned on the same podcast that Instagram and social media is considered a “recruiting tool” when looking for their cast. Starting with social media accounts as a vetting tool will obviously put a priority on individuals who are invested in themselves as a brand, who are posting for interactions, likes, and follows. Both casting directors emphasized that they are looking for authenticity and that that casting process is rigorous once an individual is considered, but the emphasis on social media and fame seems telling.
Even ‘Love Is Blind’ Has Casting Problems
In Season 6, viewers were at first excited to see Trevor Sova dating in the pods that are a part of the Love Is Blind experiment, keeping the contestants separate and out of sight from one another while they get to know each other. Trevor had all the right things to say when dating the women in the group, and at first he was a fan favorite. But then it was revealed that he had a girlfriend the entire time he was on the series, which meant he had been faking his entire experience in the social experiment. Trevor made the ill-advised decision to join the rest of the cast on the reunion stage, only to be chastised by hosts Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey while stammering out lame excuses. Netflix’s VP of Casting even went on to say in interviews after that the series would increase their diligence in casting moving forward because of Trevor’s fraudulent behavior.
Influencers Aren’t the Problem, but They Shouldn’t Be Prioritized
Instagram models and influencers are invested in their physique and personality as a brand that they monetize, so that camera time will always be the number one priority if they are coming on reality TV to increase their fame. Casting Instagram models, social media influencers, and other fame seekers doesn’t necessarily negate the possibility of establishing meaningful connections on reality TV. But it can upturn the entire premise of a dating series if there are too many people playing the game of “what will get me camera time” instead of finding a lasting partner. While there is a time and place for drama and diva-behavior in reality dating series, viewers tune in to watch couples develop bonds and overcome adversity over time. If drama and camera time are the main focus of the cast rather than forming deep connections, by the end of the season, viewers are left feeling like the journey wasn’t worth the time invested in watching.
