Lindsay Hubbard appeared on Nick Viall‘s podcast on Wednesday, where she opened up about her August split from former fiance Carl Radke.

While looking back at the moments that led up to Carl, 38, calling off their November wedding, the Summer House star, 37, revealed if anyone knew about their split before it happened, shared the changes Carl asked of her prior to calling it quits, and confirmed he tried to continue to date her even after deciding to pull out of their nuptials.

“It’s wild that he didn’t understand that calling off a wedding meant breaking up,” Lindsay noted on the November 8 episode of The Viall Files.

According to Lindsay, who previously suggested that Carl manipulated her into an on-camera split, Carl left town immediately after calling off their wedding.

“First of all, he ran away immediately. I don’t know where he went,” she revealed. “I don’t know what he did. But he left New York, pretty much the next day after that happened. I had to go film a scene with the girls but he refused to film anything else after that.”

Because of the behavior she’s seen from Carl in recent months, Lindsay believes he may be suffering from “low self-esteem.”

“The hard conversations, I think he really struggles with… I think for somebody who has low self-esteem, and then you are bringing up normal conversations that a partnership requires, they don’t take that too easily,” she noted.

Although Carl offered Lindsay no solid reason for not wanting to get married, she told Nick, 43, that she was able to get closure with the help of friends.

“I got no answers from him. [I got] answers from myself and my friends when I set up that war room… We just psychologically dissected everything. Really broke down every inch and being of this person,” she explained. “I saw probably a lot of things that I was maybe overlooking because I was so in love with him. A lot of inexperience of things that you have to go through emotionally as an adult that I don’t think were there.”

Months after being “blindsided” by Carl, Lindsay said that while this was “the most heartbreaking breakup of [her] entire life,” the way in which Carl betrayed her has made it easier to go on.

“The way it went down, that amount of betrayal for me was so strong. Trust and loyalty are my absolute number ones, and if you betray my trust in such a way that Carl did, I equate that to him basically cheating on me so it made it easier for me to move through those emotions of grief and pain and heartbreak, and put one foot in front of the other,” she reasoned.

She’s even felt relief.

“It really was this moment of like wow, this was going to be a long rough road for me ahead especially if I’m the one driving all the tough conversations, managing everything, driving the ship in all the directions, trying to really push on the adult future planning, and that sucks. I need help. I need a partner,” she noted. “I want an equal and the fact that I wasn’t getting that became very evident… I’m in a really good place.”

When it came to if Carl had been unfaithful, Lindsay said she didn’t think so, signaling instead to his potential commitment fears.

“I don’t think he cheated. I don’t think that’s something that happened. I don’t think there was any big moment. I just think that he doesn’t fully understand commitment and what it takes to be in a relationship,” she explained.

As for whether or not anyone knew the breakup was coming, Lindsay said that despite what he’s said, she does not believe Kyle Cooke, 41, predicted the split.

“I think Kyle was blindsided too. I really think it was an impulsive emotional decision out of anger,” Lindsay stated. “The last two weeks of summer, his demeanor had kinda changed. His attitude changed. The way he was speaking to me. His combativeness. The things he was saying to me were just like, ‘What is going on right now? This is so confusing. I don’t know where this came from.’ All of a sudden, I had to change everything about me to be with him.”

“All of a sudden, it became like, ‘Well you need to be softer, Lindsay.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’” she recalled. “And it was like, ‘You need to be softer, and nurturing and caring and positive and excited and happy and give me hugs, and tell me you’re proud of me.’ And then slowly but surely, it turned into, ‘I don’t want the role of my wife to be somebody who asks questions and gives advice and has opinions.’”

Although Lindsay remained in the relationship, despite Carl’s bizarre behavior, she now sees that she wasn’t what Carl wanted.

“These conversations were happening and I’m like, ‘What is going on? First of all, you proposed to a girl a year ago who you’ve been best friends with, for at that time, seven years. At what point have I ever given anyone who’s watched the show for five minutes any indication that I’m some… I’m not a 1950s Stepford wife. I’m a very independent girl who’s made my own money since I was 14 years old… And you’re now telling me I’m not allowed to speak and I have to just listen?’”