Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Schwartz and Lala Kent are grappling with escalating tension in their friend group.

In PEOPLE’s exclusive sneak peek at Tuesday’s episode, Schwartz and Lala talk through the argument that unfolded when the Schwartz & Sandy’s co-owner proposed that everyone — including exes Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval — should take a group trip to celebrate the opening of Lisa Vanderpump’s Lake Tahoe restaurant Wolf.

While taking in the sun at James Kennedy and Ally Lewber’s pool party, the 33-year-old Give Them Lala Beauty founder owns up to her strong reaction to the invite from Schwartz, 41.

“I know I came pretty heavy last night,” she acknowledges. “I’m still working on ‘Don’t get triggered by your own experiences,’ but that is going to be a process.”

She continues the thought in a confessional interview: “I used to think it was my superpower that I could, like, call anybody on their s— … and it’s just not healthy. At some point in my life, I have to practice forgiveness. I cannot wear my trauma like a badge of honor anymore.”

While Schwartz praises Lala’s self-awareness, he can’t help but admit he still feels stung that Ariana, 38, called him a “lost cause” and said she “gave up” on him long ago.

“I know we all have problems, but there was a moment last night where Ariana looked at me like I was subhuman,” he says.

“She has been exalted to this kind of queen status,” he adds, questioning her “diva energy, as opposed to someone who’s been hurt.”

Ultimately, he says, “I do love Ariana, but I’m not going to fawn for her affection or her validation.”

Schwartz shared a similar sentiment on last week’s Vanderpump Rules after show as he explained why Madix’s behavior “rubbed [him] the wrong way.”

“Honestly, I think it was one of her lower moments,” he said bluntly.

Schwartz recogznized that in the fallout of his friend’s cheating scandal, “I became synonymous with the affair or whatever,” but he deemed that finger-pointing “ridiculous.”

“All the rage she had pent up with Tom, she took out on me in that moment, which I think is absurd,” he insisted.

During Schwartz and Lala’s conversation in this week’s episode, she calls his reaction to Ariana “natural” and affirms, “Actually, I thought you handled yourself well last night.”

She gives more detail about where the fireworks came in on her end: “I was triggered when you talked about her ego because immediately I took that as like, ‘Oh no, you talked about my ego because I was there.’ There are times here I take things to heart, which is what I’m working on — like, not being a dog in everyone else’s fight.”