As the first week of the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics wraps up, Bravo thought it would be fun to honor the Real Housewives with some podium-worthy tag lines. While Real Housewives fans are used to a witty repartee, these new opening lines are meant to instill national pride. And I think they are doing the job as they almost have me cheering, “USA! USA! USA!”
Shannon Beador – Real Housewives of Orange County
In an adorable twist on a refreshing saying, Bravo took Shannon Beador’s “When life gives you lemons, put nine in a bowl!” tagline and added a fresh spin. In a perfect match for the Summer Olympics, Shannon could now say, “When life gives you Olympians, put three on a podium!” Obviously this is a nod to the winners from each sport claiming their gold, silver, or bronze medal.
Fun fact: Each Paris 2024 medal has a piece of one of the most famous structures in the world. Yes, each medal has a piece of the Eiffel Tower melted into it. When the iconic tower underwent renovations during the 20th century, pieces of the original wrought iron were preserved. On top of that, each medal ceremony will use a Louis Vuitton tray as the holder. I bet Shannon wouldn’t say no to an LV tray or two for her lemons.
Karen Huger – Real Housewives of Potomac
The Grand Dame of the Potomac once said, “I don’t ride the fence, honey, I am the fence. You ride me.” Now, I wasn’t exactly sure what Karen Huger meant except that maybe she was the matriarch of the group. She has always been the leader of the pack, making sure to set the rules. But again, the network creatively changed her tagline to “I don’t stand on the podium honey, I am the podium. You stand on me.” This could represent the multitude of qualified athletes who are trying their best to stand tall at the end of competition being the one to hear their national anthems ring aloud proudly.
Lisa Vanderpump – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Perhaps one of the best taglines ever to grace the Bravo screen came from Lisa Vanderpump. The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star once uttered, “The crown is heavy, darlings. So just leave it where it belongs.” So naturally, it was only right to tweak her famous one line to read, “The gold medal is heavy, darlings, so just leave it where it belongs.” Another fun fact: the hexagonal-shaped medal weighs 529 grams and is a tribute to France’s nickname “L’hexagone.”
Teresa Giudice – Real Housewives of New Jersey
Season 5 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey gave fans the tagline, “Haters are gonna hate, but I just love, love, love.” Now, I am not sure Teresa Giudice understood the words in her message, but I much prefer Bravo’s Olympic take. Now Tre’s tagline reads, “Haters are gonna hate, but I just win, win, win.” The sentiment gets behind the competitive spirit of the games. No athlete has just shown up to smile for the camera; they all want to walk away as winners.
Dorit Kemsley – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
If any Real Housewives star was meant to shine, shine, shine, it would be Dorit Kemsley. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star understands an assignment, especially when it comes to fashion. So, I don’t doubt she would have the perfect Olympic-themed outfit. Bravo took Dorit’s tagline, “I believe in an excess of everything… except moderation,” and changed it to “I believe in an excess of everything… especially medals.” Japan and China currently have the highest medal count, with 12. But Japan has six gold, while China has five.
Kelly Bensimon – Real Housewives of New York
There is a lot that Kelly Bensimon says that just makes absolutely no sense. The tagline, “I’m living the American dream, one mistake at a time,” was one of them. But the revamped Olympic version is quite inspiring. Now it reads, “I am living the American dream one medal at a time.”
I love this one because it spotlights how much national pride we have when it comes to the Olympics, which only come around every four years. 46 out of 50 states are represented in Paris, with a whopping 592 American athletes in attendance. And I bet none of these competitors ever ran down the middle of Fifth Avenue.